So I have been trying a new method of mind training where you access the power of your unconscious mind. Each night as you fall asleep you ask your dreaming mind to work on a problem you want to solve. The problem I have been asking is “how do I fall in love with my life again”? and it has been working and I have awoken each day with one more piece of the puzzle solved. But now I have hit a wall, a sort of blank section of the puzzle in which I have realized that I am not completely whole yet as a person and that there is a great deal of self healing I need to do before I launch off into a new life of Amor Fati. So now the assignments I am giving my unconscious mind are about how best to heal myself and cope with the gaps in my past. I feel a change in myself that is hard to describe, except that I can tell you that for the first time in a long time I feel hopeful. I am tired of feeling tired. No matter how much sleep I get I still feel tired, looking forward to this change.
Update 4/1/2021:
This process has been working very well for me but I have run into a snag. The more I contemplate the answers my unconscious mind is giving me the more I turned back to the question of self-healing, and how there is a void within myself that needs healing before I can fall back in love with my life. I think I have finally hit the nail on the head…I am, and have always been, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and that due to external factors and toxic people in my life I became burned out on being so highly sensitive. All my life I loved animals, and hated eating them, and I felt their pain very deeply within myself. Many people in my life tried to beat that out of me and I eventually became a burnout with a huge piece of myself going dormant. They tried to teach me that this was just the way of the world and part of the natural order.
I now realize that some of the happiest times in my life were spent helping out in a dog rescue program.
I now reject their reality and substitute my own, and in so doing have regained contact with a long buried part of myself. I am Vegan for life, I will try to rescue any animal I can from now on, and will work towards my dream of trying to alleviate their suffering (and all beings suffering) to the extent that I am able.